Getting on through the week....damn, it's hard!

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I went to bed last night SO upset and discouraged.  It just seems that Ron and I will never, ever get anywhere near the light at the end of the tunnel.  We won't even get a little bit of help to get us through a tough week, and I can't help but wonder what we are doing wrong, why do seemingly total worthless people sit on their asses and get things handed to them, and we just need some help, and we get...nothing.
But, finally, I just came to realize that, once again, we must pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, tighten our belts, and <insert your own cliche here>, and - eventually - we will climb out of this deep, dark hole that we are in.  I thought we were starting to climb up the sides a bit, but the steps weren't anchored good enough and pulled out of the walls, and we are back to ground zero - or so it seems.  I am just so frustrated.

When I woke this morning, that feeling was still hanging over me, and I had to push myself to even get out of bed.  I just didn't want to, but I knew that would solve nothing.  I couldn't even read last night (do you know how rare that is??), and I let myself read for a little longer than usual before I got up, but then I did get up and get working here in the house, which is the only thing I can control right now.  I did our yesterday's dishes, using the largest dish as my sink, and then I mopped (Swiffered) the kitchen floor, too!  I also tried riding the stationery bike, too, but I could only manage to do 2 minutes on it (and, yes, that made me feel sooooo good, too <yes, sarcasm>), but at least I got back on the damn thing finally.  I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich for my lunch, since I was feeling a little chilly - which I never did shake all day - along with a banana.
After playing on the pute for a bit, I did my exercise repertoire.  I felt good about my chances about having a good weigh-in tonight at TOPS, but who knows?  I thought I'd gained last week and I hadn't!
I got my shower at 4, because I wanted to be dry and warmed back up before Ron texted me, and I sure wanted to be ready by then.  Josh stopped in to drop off this week's football slips, and we visited for a few minutes, then he hit the road again.  I still hadn't heard from Ron, so that was good.  Then, almost 5:30, he calls - not texts - and he is getting ready to go in for his yearly evaluation.  Finally!!  It was only due on September 9th....
In the end, he didn't text me until after 6, and by then, I couldn't walk out to meet him, because I leave for my meeting at 6:30.  So, he came on home and showed me the evaluation papers and the results.  Yay, Ron!  That made my heart a little happy.  If only they could have done this 6 weeks ago, though, it would have helped considerably.  But - beggars can't be choosers, right?  We are happy to be receiving it now.  It will - WILL - help.  We'll start building those steps up the side again.

I went to my meeting, and weighed in.  I gained!  Only .2 of a pound, but still a gain.  Phooey!
I got home after the meeting, and Ron had supper done - hamburger patties, pinto beans, and chunked tomatoes (the last of the orange tomatoes) and boy, did it smell good when I walked in!
We ate supper while watching NCIS and NCIS: NO and I also had 3 Dove Dark Chocolate Kisses for a dessert.  I haven't done that for a while, and it sure sounded good, and it tasted REAL good!

I put my food and exercise in MFP, and I was about 175 calories short for the day.  Of course, MFP hollered at me.  Sigh.  I thought about putting in a snack - another snack - but I didn't.  I just took the chastisement.  Might as well.

We'll see what I can get into tomorrow.