Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Today started out okay, much like any other day, so I was in a bit of shock over how it ended.
I got up around 11, and needed to make a dish to take to my TOPS meeting tonight, so had to run uptown to the store. No biggie - and I could get something different for my lunch while uptown! Off I went, did the little bit of shopping, went to Arby's and got a Chicken Pecan Salad Wrap for my lunch when I got back home. Yeah.
Then, on the way home, I got a text from my daughter-in-law. "We're going back-to-school shopping. You wanna come with?" Well, yeah, okay, plans change, right...so they come up, and off we go. We stop at Bob Evans for lunch before shopping, and I got the Chicken Salad Plate that I like so much. We go to the mall, and I became a Mall Walker while they went right to the shops they were interested in going to. I met up with them, finished the loop of the mall while walking out, and off we went to Meijer. I walked through to the Men's department to look for Bengals' stuff while they went to right to back-to-school. After I was done, I met back up with them, and I ended up walking the whole store just to kill time. Yay, me!
After all the shopping is done, I am back home, and they have all headed for home, so I decide to go ahead and do my Wii Body Test. Big mistake!! According to the Wii, I have GAINED two more pounds. I just don't understand this - I have been exercising, I have been eating good -- what, What, WHAT, and WHY???
I finished making the dish for the meeting, and went up to the meeting. Sure enough, at the weigh-in, I had gained almost three pounds! (Remember, their scale reads at least 2 pounds more than mine) I was so disgusted with myself. I kept all these feelings inside me, however, until I got home, and when Ron asked "how was the meeting?" I exploded - in a way. I told him, "I am FAT. I am USELESS. I am NO GOOD at this. I am NO GOOD for anything." and got the rest of the bag of potato chips and ate that for my supper. Then, I had a cinnamon roll for dessert. At this point, I truly did not care any more.
Of course, after I had stuffed my face, I realized that what I had just done was one of the stupidest things I could have done - I have now ruined any chance of success for the rest of the week. So, long story short, I felt like crap, made myself feel like crap, have made the rest of the week go to crap, and right at this time, don't particularly care. I know, come morning, I will care again, and - come morning - I will come up with a new plan of action. I think I will have to up the exercise and I need to stop weighing every day. I think I am just giving too much credit to every-day weigh-ins, and that is not good for my peace of mind. I do a weigh-in for my "Biggest Loser" competition on Saturdays, and I do a weigh-in for TOPS on Tuesdays, and those are going to have to be enough. You, dear readers of my blog, will have to deal with only knowing my weight twice a week. HA!!
OK, that's all for my ranting and raving for tonight. Signed, your fat friend.
258
not that we actually know your weight to start with -- just the plusses and minuses.
ReplyDeleteI didn't do so good today either. Had brownies and cheese crackers for breakfast and a brownie for lunch. supper was meat loaf, mashed taters, mac&cheese (yeah, I know) and string beans. drinking unsweet tea for the most part. sipping at a 24 oz bottle of pop.
For exercise I hauled bags and boxes and piles of clothes into living room and sorted them.
My disturbed nap that never quite happened has had me disgruntled all evening.
Are we all sure today isn't Monday?
Rita,
DeleteI've been reading your blog, and suffering along with you. You're absolutely right. You need to make a new plan. From reading your daily food diary, it seems like you have a lot of extra treats that are undoubtedly sabotaging your efforts. Four pieces of banana bread, cinnamon rolls, eskimo ice cream sandwiches. They all add up to lots of extra calories!
My suggestion is for you to join weight watchers and stick with it, weighing and measuring, until you know how many calories are in what you're eating and snacking on -- and COUNT EVERYTHING! It's a royal pain in the ass, but it's the only way you are going to learn how to eat to lose. You may be allowed one of the above mentioned treats a week -- or if you eat them more often you have to offset them with your meals.
The other thing I noticed is that you eat out a lot. Restaurant food has so many more calories than we should be eating for any meal, much less several a week. If you're really serious you need to set a calorie limit and COUNT EVERYTHING. That means not eating out unless you know how many calories are in what you're eating & making sure they fit it with your daily limit.
I've lost 25 pounds since Wellex closed. I'm trying to be more healthy -- my blood sugar is WAY out of control and my triglycerides are off the chart. My doctor is threatening to put me on insulin which I'm fighting tooth and nail, so I'm really motivated to lose weight too. It's a worthy fight. I know you can do it -- you are one of the most stubborn people I know (I say that with affection)! If anyone can succeed it's you.
I hope you don't take this post the wrong way. I am right there with you. I've done a lot of thinking since Tom died and when you boil it down, he died from being fat. All of his problems started because his body couldn't handle being so heavy any more. I don't want to end up like he did, he suffered so much. I don't want my kids to have to live the rest of their lives without a mom.
Don't hate on yourself. Just make a new plan and stick with it!
Love you!
Kathy