Thursday, February 5, 2015
Friday, February 6, 2015
Saturday, February 7, 2015
2/5
Believe it or not, I just don't remember too much about Thursday. It is a lost day in my brain. Just - poof - gone!
I do know that I am having trouble sleeping (again), and if I remember right, I didn't sleep a wink all of Wednesday night. None at all. I stayed up all night watching Cold Case on TV and finally went to bed at 7am, after I caught myself dozing off - I missed the end of a show! Once in bed, I still didn't fall asleep for another hour, so it was after 8 that I finally fell 'asleep,' and I was awake again by 11. I did my normal morning thing, getting up after noon, but after that - I couldn't tell you what all I did that day. I was a zombie.
I didn't eat any lunch, and I made Ron some cabbage for his supper. I made myself a pound of bacon for my supper, which I ate on bread, as sandwiches, with Miracle Whip. Because, you know, by then I was pretty damn hungry. We watched the first Transformer movie (Ron got the first 3 for Christmas) for our evening's entertainment, and that was that.
I took a dose of sleeping pills at 9, went to bed at 11, and finally turned off the light at 2. WHY?????
2/6
I slept good until around 8, when I got up to go pee. After that, my sleep was the stupid dozey sleep, with oddball disconnected dreams, during which I heard every single sound inside and outside the house. I finally woke fully up around 10:30, and did my usual morning thing - reading and playing on my tablet - and getting up around 12:30. I took a shower, got dressed, and left to do my errands.
As I was getting ready to pull into Amelia Cleaners down on 125, by Bard's Nursery, there was a black car waiting to turn left out of there. He was pulled so far out, I thought, "It's a good thing I'm turning!" I flipped on my turn signal, slowed down, and started my turn. THE DUDE PULLED OUT!!! I hollered, "No! No! No!" at him (of course he can't hear me, but you know how I am...) because I know there is more traffic around me, and - sure as shit - there was a red car in the fast car that BOOM got him, and got him good. I heard the screeches and saw the crash in my rear view mirror, too. The red car hit him so hard, its back end went up a little way off the ground!! I finished pulling into the parking space, put it into park, and called 911. O.M.G.!!
I am so shaken up over this - did I cause this? I know that I am not at fault - I did nothing wrong - but did I cause it just by being there at that moment? I know, with my brain, that it is totally the black car's driver's fault for pulling out without making sure all lanes were clear, but was the fact I was there, blocking his view, some kind of cause? Yes, my good old Catholic guilt is making 20,000 questions like these go through my head and heart. Yes, not my fault, but did I cause it?
I finally convinced myself that it wouldn't have mattered - if it wasn't me, whatever car had been turning in at that moment would have been in the same position, because that driver was so impatient. It helped a little, for a little while.
When I finished my errand in the cleaners, I turned right, went down and turned around at the cinema, then came back up past the accident. Somehow, and I don't know how, there was also a green car mixed in there! Ai yi yi!
I figured if the police needed me for any reason, they could find me. After all, I had called it in and everything. It's not like my car just blends in, right?
Crying the whole time, I drive back up through Amelia. I called Ron and told him all about it, and assured me that there was no way it was my fault. He didn't understand the difference between my worries about being the cause of it and knowing it wasn't my fault, but I'm sure I wasn't very easy to understand at all. I knew he was at work, and I didn't want to hold him up any longer, so I let him go. I just couldn't go right into doing the grocery shopping, so I went to Bob Evans to - hopefully - pull myself together. I hadn't planned on stopping to eat today, but I had to do something.
Once there, I called Josh and asked him to come down and talk to me. His work isn't all that far from there - it's by the drive-in - and even though it wasn't anywhere near any kind of lunch or break time for him, he came down pretty quickly. He knew I was upset. After he got there, and I explained all that had happened to him, he also assured me that it wasn't my fault. I told him that I knew that, and went into my 'cause' questions, and he came at me with 'cause' questions about when I fell running across 125 after HIS car wreck - would I (his mother) have even been there if he hadn't called me after the wreck, and things like that. So, I knew that he knew EXACTLY how I was feeling, and why, and how, and all of that. We ended up having a very good talk about this type of thing, and it really helped a lot. When he left, he came over to my side of the table and gave me a hug, and I think that helped most of all!
I went on to WalMart and did my grocery shopping, getting a good WalMart Walk in while doing so. Ron and Corgan had gotten home before I did, and after I got home, we watched the second Transformers movie, then Corgan took over the TV. He actually watched Brain Games and smart stuff this time instead of his usual Most Stupid shows - whoohoo!
I went to bed at midnight, turning off my light at 2. I had the alarm set for 10!!
2/7
The alarm went off at 10, as set. Man, I hit snooze way too many times, finally getting up just after 11. I got up and did my weigh-in - my first one this go-round - on the Wii, and (lo and behold!) I've lost 3 and a half pounds!! I knew I was gonna lose the 3 because of scale differences, but the half was a nice surprise.
After I finished getting dressed, and Ron got a few things together, off we went!
First, down to Amelia - to Walgreen's to pick up prescriptions, as we usually do on Saturday mornings.
Then, it was up to my sister's in Winchester, with a stop in Mt. Orab to pick up her daughter, to help her move some of her bigger belongings into storage. My other sister was there, and between those 3, and my grandson, they got the job done. As much as could be done in one afternoon, anyway. Beds, cabinets, shelves, desks, couches, all that kind of big stuff - today was the day we could get Mr. Muscleman (Ron) and everyone else together, schedule-wise, and it got done. I got held down by a baby (okay, a toddler - he'll be 2 the end of March) most of the time. He was keeping me from trying to help, and I was keeping him out of the way - funny how that works, huh? - and they loaded Ron's truck twice, Jean's truck once, and there was some stuff in Ruth's car, too. Man.
We came home, Jean came here, Josh and Chelle came from wherever they had spent the day, and I made supper. I made the shrimp dish along with asparagus. I made boiled potatoes, and - YES - I got these over to the table! I put them in a bowl this time, and cradled the bowl in my arms. I also made both corn and peas for veggies (I don't like asparagus - it tastes like dirt), so we had a nice meal. Josh and Chelle had brought a pizza stuffed bread that they had found at Jungle Jim's, so that helped to round out the meal, too.
After eating, we played a board game called Family Reunion. It's fun - you go around the board and collect cards by remembering and telling stories from your past that the pictures on the cards remind you of. Corgan - the youngest one - ended up winning! We had a lot of fun!
Tomorrow, it's church and lunch. We're meeting friends for lunch, so it will be a long lunch, but after lunch - who knows??
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